Between men and women, there are certain ways each gender was taught to talk. Because men and women are socialized different ways, it's almost as if sometimes there is a language barrier between us. There are different ways these language barriers occur. In the packets we read, they give examples such as apologies, criticism, discussion, praise and complaints. With apologies, when women apologize, most of the time it is to keep both them and the person their speaking to on equal footing, so that they will both share the blame. This does not necessarily mean that they are actually sorry about something, but more that we won't seem superior to another. For men, however, it is not said as much. This is because when men apologize for something, they see it as a sign of inferiority, that they are giving into someone else.
Complaints are another language barrier that is created between men and women. Women tend to use complaints as something to talk about. They complain about something, and then expect the person their talking to to reciprocate with a complaint of their own. For example, if someone is complaining about their job or their boss, the woman might respond with a complaint similar to the other woman's about her work. This is just a conversation tactic. Men, however, see complaints entirely differently. Men look at complaints as a request to help someone solve the problem. So if a woman is complaining to her husband and he begins to tell her how to solve the problem and she gets angry, it's not because she didn't like his advice, it's because she wasn't looking for a way to solve the problem. She just wanted to complain and have a conversation about it.
Discussion is another language barrier between men and women. Studies show that men are more likely to turn a discussion into a debate and state their ideas in very strong terms. Women, however, take this debating as a personal attack, and may make them doubt how much they actually know about the topic. Usually discussions for women are on mutual ground. So if a woman brings up a recent news topic for discussion, and states what she knows on it, she may feel doubtful of what she actually knows when a man begins to tell what he thinks was actually true, and debate with her.
Despite the fact that these are not the only language barriers between men and women, they are some of the more prominent ones. This does not mean that one way of speaking is better than the other, it just means we need to learn how the other gender generally talks and learn to accept it to certain terms.
I can see a huge difference in the way that men and women talk. men are always seemingly really serious and when they say something like apology they really mean it most of the time. Women on the other hand can say they are sorry a hundred times a day and never mean a word of it. this wouldn’t b so bad if Women didn’t expect a meaningful apology when ever a guy screws up even when it isn’t there own fault. another big difference in the way that men and women talk is the way what the argue. al that men want to do is win and an argument and then end the problem and never go back to it. as to a woman who will just let the problem keep growing and growing until they get what they want out of the argument. then way that men and women complain is completely different too because men just want to fix problem that other people have and then when they have problem they go to other guys and then they fix the problem. Women on the other hand don’t really want to fix the problem they just want to complain about it so that they get sympathy for what ever it is that they are going through. and they also expect guys to listen to them about these problems with out using there true nature of trying to fix it. by tom olandese
ReplyDeleteI agree with these articles and I think they are not so surprising. Because we see
ReplyDeleteadulthood age is going up ,people do not want to leave their freedom, youth ,less
responsible life easily. We started to live fast, we are busy all the time in stress and most
of us complaining about can’t finding time even we are eating fast, running not to be late. Are they because of technology? I guess the
most important cause is this. Sending mails, texting are fast ways to communicate ,so you
don’t need to wait for days as our grandparents did before. That’s why maybe we don’t understand that we are maturing. Also new life demands more projects ,success, career, etc. So lots of people don’t want to get marry before these .There are lots of people studying after graduating college today.
isilay